Best Moments During our Disney Vacation

         I realize that it's been quite some time since I've written a Nate's 9 blog, and I could blame it on a few things. A little bit has been laziness, a little bit of it is due to a wonderful college, NFL and soccer season (think about this - Penn State only lost one game after Halloween, Green Bay has won 7 in a row, and Manchester United has run off 9 consecutive wins and is unbeaten in 15? 16? games, heck, even the Timberwolves are beating the Rockets right now), my kids activities have been many in the fall and winter season (soccer, swimming, karate and now basketball), and my writers block has kicked up a notch. I have come up with some beautiful Nate's 9's: Influential Wars, Sports Dynasties, Presidents, Star Wars films (although there is only 8, but whatever), yet I couldn't get anything interesting down when I started to type. Then, it came in a flash - the vacation. Of course.



Honorable Mention:

Daytona Beach: Not bad. It wasn't the Mediterranean, but I still had fun.

Space Mountain: Either I had never ridden it, or I had forgotten, but that sucker was a blast. First thing I'll fast pass next time we go to the Kingdom.

Thinking our Stroller was Stolen: Only sad part, but that was scary. So we, along with about a dozen others had lined up our strollers right outside the "It's a Small World" ride. When we got back out, all the strollers were gone. And replaced with other strollers. So, of course I'm thinking, crap there goes a ton of water bottles, Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches, other miscellaneous snacks, and Oh Shit! My prescription sunglasses! We kick it into high gear, running all around the area, only to realize an employee had moved all of them to a more specific "stroller parking" area since it was getting dark out. Not cool.

Animal Kingdom Africa: Better than I remember. Lion King was fantastic. The Safari was fun, and the animals out there gave us a good show. A zebra was about 6 inches from our jeep, just throwing his rear end in the air. Food was good. No complaints.

Magic Kingdom: When I was 21, I thought it was kind of lame. Some of that was misfortune: the NFL had parked themselves at Hollywood Studios the week we went there with Aiden in 2011. It was always going to be an uphill battle when you're matched up against: Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, Tim Tebow, DeAngelo Williams and Jason Taylor among others. This time around though, I can appreciate the Magic. The photographers in front of the famous landmarks was a nice touch. Ariel was way nicer than the last time I remember. Dumbo didn't suck. Way to go Magic Kingdom, you're moving up.

#9 - The Minivan Experience: So, once we decided that my mother was going to come with us on the trip, which was awesome for many reasons including but not limited to: equal riding partners, adult time, quiet-ish bedtimes, and for the love of it; we had to trade out any idea of driving an SUV for the week, into a mini-van. I was a little disappointed; not going to lie, they don't look nor sound very exciting. Well, I was wrong. With the push of a button, side doors and the back door opened right up. There was enough room to seat 6 people, place a stroller and go shopping at Target and Costco, and still have room to spare. It drove okay, but I can't say that it was bad. It gets twice the amount of gas mileage that the Yukon gets. Seats go into floors. 3 different layers of speaker fade (For all you backseat headphone listeners… I will never, ever have one enter my garage, but I will say that for 7 days on any future family vacations, I'll be the first to sign up to drive another.

#8 - Boys Differences Shining Through: One of the things that I hoped for, but didn’t necessarily expect, was that each one of my kids could appreciate a different park based on their personality. So what happened? They each loved a different one, and it didn't correlate to the park that I had expected of them. Which in my opinion was pretty awesome. Aiden loved Magic Kingdom and that makes sense because he's a big rider guy. I thought he'd appreciate Epcot a little more, because he's already so interested in other cultures at 6, but what I didn't expect was his excitement for Space Mountain, the Future Race Cars, The Jungle Cruise and the Monsters Laugh House. Those were just his favorites. He also for awhile (we overloaded them), enjoyed taking pictures with the Princes and princesses, but that wore a little thin. Lucas, who I thought would be the Hollywood Studios guy, because he's a little engineer/strategist, had really enjoyed Epcot. Loved seeing all the countries -especially France, and after we walked through the World Showcase, he wanted to do it again. Just like his father in that respect. And Logan, who is so "go with the flow" that I didn't really expect any passion out of him either way, said that Animal Kingdom was his favorite. Another surprise in my book, especially when he said that the rapids were his favorite ride. We got soaked, and he wanted more. I'm pleased to know that even though they're still brothers and considerably best friends, that they each have their own interests that they can grow and learn with.

#7 - Autographs with the Princesses: They really do a good job, and those are some long days. All those gross and germy children (and adults), and they just keep going through with a smile on their face for every kid and hugs when so required. Some of those lines we waited 45+ minutes for them (especially Jasmine which probably pushed 60), and they made my kids feel like the only people around. It must have really gotten to Lucas though, because he was never super shy around girls before we went on the trip; even considered a classmate his girlfriend. Then after all the princesses were fawning all over him, he hasn't said a word to a girl since. But Kudos to the ladies (and the rare instances of boys). My boys loved you.

#6 - Epcot Day: It started out with 15 MPH winds and a temperature of 47 degrees. I thought I was back in Minnesota, and worse, thought that the boys would be unenthusiastic for my favorite park. And in the morning it was rough. We ran around from facility to facility trying to stay out of the cold. I decided to ride the Spaceship Earth ride; not because of any enjoyment for something I've seen twice before, but to get out of the damn cold. In future world we encountered some pretty great rides, and there may be more on them later. The boys also got in a relatively short line for Goofy, Daisy and Minnie and that was nice, considering some of their other waits. It really got lit though, once we got to England in the world showcase. They probably played soccer in the English Department Store for about 20 minutes, got to see Christmas Lights with Santa on the shopping main street, and even took a picture with a phone booth (What's that, Dad?) We also enjoyed France, Germany, Japan, China, Norway and Italy. When I ordered my beer in Germany, my bartender was from a town in Germany that was literally like the Plymouth to our Maple Grove as to where I stayed when I was an exchange student. They had the German Grapefruit beer, which you may or may not know is the only one that matters. Our only disappointment was that we didn't get to have a nice dinner, because it was a Friday night and all the restaurants were booked (who knew?). Cold pizza wasn't great, but the beer and wine were plenty enough.

#5 - Soarin': Wasn't quite sure why a ride that I wasn't familiar with from my 2011 experience would be so low on fast passes when we signed up a month before the trip, but I was curious to find out. I certainly wasn't disappointed. I don't want to offer any spoilers on here, just in case you get the chance to do it someday, but it really is a thrill seeker of a ride. All 3 kids loved it, and it's still the only ride that all 6 of us really enjoyed. I'll throw in a youTube for all you fun seekers.

#4 - Tower of Terror: While we were in line, I was a little nervous for the twins, because they still don't do well with Haunted Houses, scary clowns, things like that. The size requirement said they could ride, but I thought maybe we'd regret it by the end. Lucas was starting to get his anxiety when we got close, and I had to explain that everything was pretend, and they are just actors that are doing it just for fun. So imagine my surprise when we did the playback at the airport and we ask the kids what their favorite rides were. Logan said the water rapids, Aiden says the Himalayan roller coaster ride, and Lucas says the Tower of Terror. Overcoming his fear was one of my favorite moments.

#3 - The Great Train Robbery: So I don't remember riding the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad when I was there in past visits. It always looked great, but the first time I was there, we didn't know what fastpass was, and the line was 90 minutes if I remember correctly (that was 13 years ago). The second time, I don't think our party was interested in going on it, as Aiden was 1, and Sara's dad was riding around in a scooter. No harm, no foul. This time, we walked past the entrance to the "train ride", and it said it was only 20 minutes. Crazy! For one of Disney's most popular rides, that wasn't bad at all. We parked the stroller and away we went. And then we got on, and it was one really long train. That was the moment I didn't think all was well. I realized we got on the "Disneyworld" train, and we were going to be whisked away to another end of Magic Kingdom. The ride time to get back to pick up the stroller? Almost a half hour. Well, that wasn't bad, but we had a fast pass due for Mickey in 30 minutes. So, while the family got off at Main Street to make it on time, I got to ride around the park twice in that damn, slow train, and made the undeniable decision that I will never ride a train at Magic Kingdom ever again.

#2 - Sheraton Vistana Villages in Orlando, Florida: Costco had dreamed up our vacation, and I decided to put all of my trust into them, as I've heard that they can plan quite the beautiful getaway experience. Lots of options to consider like staying on property or nearby; dinner plans or Target runs; Character meet and greets or run like hell. In any case, the villages didn't let us down at all. (Except for the security encounter at the end of the trip in trying to deal with Lucas's stitches. That was brutal). Our room was beautiful with a Jacuzzi tub just off the side of the bed, our own private deck that was attached to the room so we could have some quiet time away from the boys. The boys (and grandma's) room had 2 queen size beds, and a rather nice bathroom size with 2 dressers and a closet. Kitchen, dishwasher pantry, washer and dryer, 3 televisions made for some nice living space.  But that wasn't even the best part. They also had 3 different pool areas, and each offered unique experiences so you weren't just getting the same thing wherever you went. One had a pirate ship, another had volleyball matches. One also had an adult pool, where no kids under 13 could partake in swimming (For the boozers, I'm guessing). They had a full court basketball court that we turned into our very own indoor soccer match, 2 fitness centers and a grocery store. It was 2 miles from Disney, and half the price of staying on the property. Hats off to you, Costco.

#1 - Himalayan Expedition Everest Roller Coaster: Oh my! So most of you know by now, that we love us some rides. Valleyfair, Mall of America, wherever, we'll do it. Roller coasters especially, and this year was special because Aiden was finally tall enough to ride all the big coasters at the parks. Another pleasure that I didn't get the benefit of experiencing was this ride at Animal Kingdom during the last visits to Florida. I'm a bit of a roller coaster snob, so if it's been done before, I don't really care. That's why Renegade and Steel Venom get so much of my love from Valleyfair, they're both really unique. Well, take a back seat fellas, this ride was no joke. No spoilers again, but if you have to know, please click on this youTube video that I would like to extend as an offering. Unique was its middle name.

NBA Stories 2016

Nate's 9: NBA Stories 2016

Hey Fam…

No. That's not okay. I'm too old for Fam. I am however, impressed that it's a part of the Microsoft dictionary. How quickly things change in today's verbal generation.

It's been a long time since I've gotten this excited for the NBA season. Not including my Minnesota Timberwolves, there's a ton to get excited about for the new season, among them, how long it will take for Golden State and Cleveland to plow through the playoff process for a rematch. A suggestion? Let's make all the games a best of 5 series, so that the finals can be a best of 15. (First to 8 is the champion!)

There are plenty of stories within the NBA season, including those two talented franchises though. Here are my 9 to watch for over the next six months!

#9. Who is the East's 2nd best team? I think the #1 seed has already been locked up, but I believe Atlanta and Toronto have gotten a little bit worse, while 5-6 eastern conference teams got better. Boston and Indiana improved the most, but any of the playoff teams could get to the #2 seed. My hope is that Jason Kidd starts to get the most out of a really talented Milwaukee Bucks team, but my guess is that Scottie Brooks does it in Washington, or Toronto gets back with their all-star back court.

#8. Orlando has one of the best defenses around? Of all the teams to spend money on Bismack Biyombo, I certainly didn't think it would be the Magic, especially when their best player last year was Nikola Vucevic and they traded for Serbe Ibaka in the off-season. Tyler Johnson, maybe, but certainly not Biyombo. With that said, if there is room for all three of them on the floor, they all stay motivated and Frank Vogel gets the best out of them, then they will be extremely hard to score against. They also won't score very much either…

#7. Trade possibilities. I think three things need to happen this year. All involving big men. 1st - The Brooklyn Nets should trade Brook Lopez for future parts and just completely blow it up. They are likely to be historically bad this season, and don't have a lottery pick to make things better. They may as well keep sucking until they get back into the lottery, which is why they should give Lopez to the Portland Trailblazers for Ed Davis and a couple future firsts. Portland's ownership is already paying the league's 2nd highest payroll, so what's one more large salary, plus he could really open up the floor for their great shooters. 2nd - The Lakers finally gets Cousins. I've wanted this for years; not because I'm a Lakers fan, but because I think it's meant to be. All I've known are dominant centers and the Los Angeles Lakers… okay that's not true, Dwight Howard. But it's close. Sacramento is garbage, but Willie Cauley-Stein is probably their 2nd or 3rd best player. They can move Cousins now, and not feel awful about it. The Lakers are dying to rebuild with Ingram and a big man, so trading Russell for Cousins could be something that would interest both players, and both teams. 3rd - Philadelphia. Any big man, for any backcourt player. Seriously. (Not Ben Simmons though. I think they know that.)

#6. Philadelphia's Frontcourt. Segway style. This is going to be a great story, all the more so when Simmons recovers from his injury. See the problem is, they have too much "talent" in the front court, but hands down the worst back court in the NBA. Why they wouldn't draft a guard when this was the case? One isn't sure. It's especially odd considering that Dario Saric might be the best of the front court bunch, and he was drafted the lowest. In any case, I'm curious to see what works, what doesn't, who gets traded, and what they get traded for. I'm also ready for when they want to do a Nerlens Noel for Ricky Rubio swap.

#5. Portland's money. I alluded to this earlier, but yes, the Portland Trailblazers will have the second highest payroll in the NBA this year. Higher than the Warriors, higher than the Clippers, higher than the San Antonio Spurs. They gave Damian Lillard the money he deserved a while ago, and CJ got his over the summer. But to give Evan Turner 70 million!? 70!? Meyers Leonard got $40 and Moe Markless got $40. I guess the good news for them is it's probably enough to win the Northwest division, but the bad news is this is the team they're going to try and overtake the Golden State Warriors and San Antonio Spurs with. As a Minnesota Timberwolves fan, I think the division could be ours in a very short period of time. Thank you, Portland.

#4. Chicago Bulls and New York Knicks Rebuilds. I feel bad for Fred Hoiberg. I think when he got to Chicago, he thought he'd be pursuing Eastern Conference championships. Now, he's got to figure out a way to make Rajon Rando and Dwayne Wade great again without upsetting these two veterans, all the while figuring out which players are going to be in the rotation down the road. It's not a task I would enjoy, and for such a nice man. That said, I'm going to go grab some popcorn and see how Hoiberg handles his business. As for the NY Knicks, I don't much care for any of the veteran additions, but if Carmelo is ever going to get a taste of the conference finals, they've got to do it now. Derrick Rose never stays healthy, Joakim Noah looks aloof at times, Brandon Jennings is a cannon on the court and from what I hear, off of it as well, and Courtney Lee is, well, a nice pick-up actually. He plays great defense, and I'm guessing won't mind that the other starters on the floor won't. Just seems like a really good teammate. That won't be enough though, and I wonder what happens if the Knicks miss the playoffs in this watered down east. A fully healthy Knicks squad will make the playoffs, but the minute someone goes down…

#3. Harrison Barnes. The player that I felt could be a superstar, but because he was surrounded by superstars, had no chance of doing so. Now he's with the Dallas Mavericks, at a superstar price, and should be given the keys to figure out what I had thought all along. In the ridiculous west though, it might not be enough to make the playoffs. Just looking forward to finally getting the answer I've wanted to know since high school in Iowa.

#2. Dub Nation. I'm not looking for another 73. I just want to watch this offense and enjoy.

#1. Timberwolves Youth. For having their four best players all be under the age of 23, the time will be coming soon. Nothing would make me happier than for soon to happen this season. I understand that this team is nowhere near ready to challenge for an NBA Title as a lot of things need to fall in place, defense needs to be played, and close games need to be won. But from a talent standpoint, I've only witnessed something like this a handful of times while watching the NBA throughout its history. The Detroit Pistons as a youngster. The Chicago Bulls during my impressionable years. The Houston Rockets when I really fell hard for the sport after the Clyde Drexler trade. Jordan's 72-10 Bulls. Shaq and Kobe's Lakers. The last few years of Dub Nation and the talents in Miami. And maybe, maybe the Boston Celtics when they traded for Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. That's it. And every single aforementioned team won an NBA Championship. I'm excited for this youth movement, because I can put these type of expectations on them, and also because I think they can achieve them. It should be a great NBA season.

Memories with my Loved Ones

Goodbye Donnie. Glad you have found some peace after a wonderful life.

At times I’ve thought that life was unfair. I feel like I’ve lost my loved ones a lot earlier than what could be considered normal. My dad before my wedding and children. A grandparent in my teens. Two others before my birth. And another a few days before his daughter’s (my mom) visit, and the announcement of his second great-grandchild. Maybe I’ve been unlucky, but it’s always eaten away at me a little bit. After thinking these memories through, I know I’ve been lucky. Cherish your loved ones.

#9. Naked Gun 33 1/3. This is the first time I remember going to the movies with my grandparents and just myself. Usually my brother or cousin went with, and that’s if we ever did so. I got to pick the movie, and without really knowing, I picked this “classic”. The car ride home was sensational. It was my grandmother complaining about how crappy movies have become, and how there’s nothing funny about that day’s humor. I thought the movie was hilarious.

#8. Birthday Checks. I’m now closer to 40 than I am to 30 (ahhhh!!!!), and I still received a birthday check from my grandmother (Donnie) at least up until this year. But that’s only because she forgot. And only forgotten because she found out that she had cancerous cells. If I can push 90, I’d like to think that I will certainly do the same for my grandchildren. And that they will use the money to purchase my favorite liquor the same way I liked to do for them. (The Goose).

#7. Spaghetti with my Dad and his Mom (Nan). I just remember the smells now, but I used to remember the shadows of my dad and my Nan as they would make spaghetti together in the kitchen while my brother and I played. My dad had a tough time in a lot of his relationships, but their love for one another was a blessing to me, and taught me something about my own relationship with my mom. While I have no business being in the kitchen, I think I can draw a lot of parallels from the happiness that each of us had spending time with our mothers.

#6. Texas Trip to say goodbye. Some things are better left unfinished. But I’m so glad I got to go to Texas and say goodbye to my grandma. She wasn’t the same; it was tough to be there at times. For someone who was usually so vibrant and commanded attention, she didn’t really say much at all for our stay. But I had my mother, brother, aunt and cousin all there with us, and it was nice to be able to do that as a family. It won’t change the way I see her in my eyes.

#5. Grocery Shopping with Nan. Ha, I use the same tactics. While most of the time growing up I was reserved or accommodating to all situations, when my brother and I were together as kids, it was modern warfare. We just never got along, and would always get into verbal and sometimes even physical altercations. (It’s so much better now, just the verbal). So when she would take us shopping, like clockwork she would tell us that we could each get a toy as long as we behaved. Every single time. I can’t imagine the bins of toys that she must’ve had accumulated during our trips to Pennsylvania. But it worked.

#4. Neil O’Donnell with Dad. He might not be the worst QB of all-time but it’s close. Or so we thought. A majority of our conversations over the phone during my teenage years were about football, and while he loved the Steelers and I loved the Packers, we both were able to agree on one thing. Neil O’Donnell sucked. We used to joke that the Steelers would have been as dominant as the Cowboys if we could just talk Jerry Jones into trading Neil O’Donnell to the Cowboys for Troy Aikman. And the funny thing is, he wasn’t that bad. He just cost them one Super Bowl once he got there.

#3. The Vikings/Packers game with Poppa. (Donnie’s husband). I never really got the chance to know my grandfather on a personal level, because during family events the kids were all together and the grown-ups were all together, and I just felt like he didn’t share my passion for sports. What I didn’t know is how much fun he was. This was either in 2003 or 2004 and the first game of the season was the Packers/Vikings game. I had invited my friend Harland (Geez, half this group is gone, I still miss you bro) and while the game was a disaster (for me – Packers were down 21-0 at one point), we had so much fun there. I had my first Grey Goose Martini with my grandpop, and we all just shot the crap (my Uncle Nate hosted), and watched football. Wish we could’ve had more fun like this..

#2. September 11^th phone call with my dad. Last time I talked to him. I know that the planes brought despair and sadness to a lot of people, but I was able to talk to my dad one last time. It went something like this.

“Hey, heard that a plane went down in rural Pennsylvania. Thought it might have hit you.”

“Nope, just missed.”

“Darn. Well you would have been famous anyway.”

“Time for me to go back into the army and kick some ass.”

“That’s another way to become famous.” …

Still miss him.

#1. Jeopardy and Vodka/waters with Donnie this year. While it isn’t DNA or environment related, my grandmother and I share a lot in common. Vodka, sports, black history, our dislike for stupidity, and no talking during Jeopardy. A bonding moment I’ll never forget. I love you.

NFL Picks 2016

Nate’s 9: NFL 2016 Predictions


To my fellow football fans: I apologize for taking so long to get this out, and now that I’m working on it, I’m going to revise it a little bit since the season’s already started, since things that I was planning to predict have already happened. (Those things will be mentioned in parenthesis) My predictions for this year’s NFL season happened the weekend before Teddy Bridgewater’s nasty injury, and although I feel like I could change it, I’m going to roll with my thoughts on every team before the massive injuries (SD included). As always, enjoy the season everyone!

AFC Playoff Predictions
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 12-4
2. New England Patriots 12-4 (Steelers win the head-to-head game)
3. Kansas City Chiefs 10-6
4. Houston Texans 10-6
5. New York Jets 10-6
6. Oakland Raiders 10-6 (Chiefs win the division tie breaker by 1 game)

Playoffs:
  Kansas City (3) vs Oakland (6) – Winner: Oakland  
  Houston (4) vs New York Jets (5) – Winner: NY Jets
  Pittsburgh (1) vs Oakland (6) – Winner: Pittsburgh
  New England (2) vs New York Jets (5) – Winner: New England
  Pittsburgh (1) vs New England (2) – Winner: Pittsburgh

NFC Playoff Predictions
1. Arizona Cardinals 13-3 (ha, already lost one)
2. Green Bay Packers 11-5
3. Tampa Bay Buccaners 10-6 (Whoa!)
4. Washington Redskins 8-8
5. Seattle Seahawks 10-6
6. Minnesota Vikings 10-6 (I'd probably have them 8-8 or 9-7 with Sam)
Note: Carolina also finished 10-6, but lost on NFC tiebreakers. Yikes!

Playoffs:
Tampa Bay (3) vs Minnesota (6) – Winner: Tampa Bay
Washington (4) vs Seattle (5) – Winner: Seattle
Green Bay (2) vs Tampa Bay (3) – Winner: Green Bay
Arizona (1) vs Seattle (5) – Winner: Arizona (My toughest game to pick all season)
Arizona (1) vs Green Bay (2) – Winner: Arizona

Super Bowl: Arizona vs Pittsburgh (I never pick a winner, would take a shine off it, if I get it right (i.e. S.F. vs Baltimore in 2013)


3 things I like:
1. Oakland is ready. I believe they’re legit.
2. Bruce Arians knows this is probably the end of the window. Might have to blow it up if it doesn’t work (age, cap casualties)
3. The Steelers were an easy pick. I really believe they’re the best team in football.

3 things I don’t like:
1. Cincinnati not making the playoffs. Tried to pick a few upsets, and it had me putting them 1 behind Oakland and the Jets. Could very easily backfire on me.
2. The Jaguars and Colts each go 8-8. I have them splitting the series, and also each splitting with the Texans. That division could make me look awful.
3. The Redskins winning the division. Every time an NFC East team left the division, I felt like they were losing. Someone has to win 9, right?

MVP: Big Ben

Offense: Antonio Brown

Defense: Khalil Mack

Rookie Off: Zeke

Rookie Def: Jalen Ramsey (HOF)

Share your picks!!!

Soccer (European Footy) Preview

2016 European Football Preview

            I blinked and the season has arrived! It was a wonderful off-season, as we pretty much had soccer all the way through. We kicked off with the Copa America which was won once again by Chile in a resilient fashion against Argentina, while the European Championships were expanded to 24 teams, which almost benefited the champions Portugal the entire way. They were boxed into a relatively easy group, didn’t play to their very best, and squeaked through the “easier” side of the knockout rounds. Then, after Cristiano Ronaldo went down, showed purpose and ambition against France in the final. It wasn’t the most beautiful football, and it should probably go back to 16 teams, but the greatest story of the tournament was Iceland, and without those 8 extra slots, they are probably back at home, and we have no idea what the Icelandic Clap even is. So I’ll take it. Now we have 3 weeks of Olympic soccer to round out the summer, and I must say that it was nice to have a game on just about every single day during the summer break.

            Barcelona or Real Madrid will most likely beat ______ for the Champions League title, and that’s all that we really need to know. Thanks for reading.

           

I kid. Let’s get started.

English Premier League:

Champions: Manchester United (If he expects it, I expect it, and so here we go.)

Top 4: Manchester City, Tottenham, Chelsea. Arsenal didn’t do enough for me in the transfer market, even though there is still time. While I don’t think City’s squad will be humming by the end, they definitely have enough in their arsenal (ha ha) to push United hard to the finish line. I really like Fernandinho, David Silva and Ilkay Gundogan in the center of the pitch; once they have them all together and fit, City could really be approaching four trophies. Tottenham will quietly win a lot of matches this year, and stay out of the news. Chelsea gets their spirit back, and I don’t think they’re done shopping. Liverpool could make their way into the top 4; Klopp is working his magic, with less than magical players sans Coutinho.

Relegated: Burnley, Hull City, Sunderland. Sorry Moyes. I like the guy, I really do, but his squad sucks. He did not make it better. Burnley will be tough to beat, and I really like the Stefan Defour signing. Hull is strange. Not sure what the deal was with Steve Bruce, but the instability of what they might go through probably gets them back to the Championship. ß God, I hate saying that.

Surprise Package: Everton if they keep Romelu Lukaku. Also, if they are able to pluck Joe Hart off of City, I could see them finishing 7^th. They have a solid foundation, and a manager that I believe will get the best out of these players this season. Ross Barkley could finally take that step up too, and hit the world class level. Sorry Leicester.

Favorite Signing: Paul Pogba – Manchester United. It’s personal.

Spanish La Liga:

Champions: This is so annoying. Only 3 teams can do it, and likely it’ll be between 2. I’m going to go with Barcelona on this again.

Top 4: Atletico, Real Madrid, Valencia. This is assuming Valencia keeps all of their current players. They’re really getting hammered lately by the “bigger clubs”. Sevilla made a lot of changes, Villarreal lost some pretty big talent, and the two Basque clubs will be around, just not playing for the Champions League places. Atletico just gets jacked up competing for this trophy, while Real gets jacked up for the European one. I think it might play into the stripped team’s hands this time around. Their signings have been some of the best around, and they didn’t lose any top players this season. Look out.

Relegation: Alaves, Osasuna, Leganes. Cute stories all, and each club has a bit of history. I still can appreciate that Alaves played Liverpool hard to the end of one of the greatest matches I have ever seen (YouTube it if you have free time). They all pretty much yo-yo between the two divisions, so I thought to play it safe this time around.

Surprise Package: Valencia. Weird to say, considering it was a normal place for them 10 years ago. I just like what they did bringing in Nani and Martin Montoya while not losing much. Andre Gomes got taken by Barcelona for 50 million, but I think that they expected him to leave. Alvaro Medran should be able to lock up that role.

Favorite Signing: Kevin Gameiro – Atletico Madrid. Griezmann didn’t really need help, but they got some for him anyway. If Gameiro can play link up with Saul, Nicolas Gaitan and Griezmann, and put away some goals, Atletico probably gets a trophy this season.

German Bundesliga:

Champions: Bayern Munich. Going back to the high-pressure counter-attacking style sucks for the rest of the league. I feel like that’s Bayern football at its glittering best.

Top 4: Borussia Dortmund, FC Schalke, Bayer Leverkusen. I wanted to pick a surprise this year, because this league always seems to have one, but these 3 really put on the pressure to become top clubs this season. Each one of them made a massive signing that could influence games on the European level. These 3 positions will be very fun to watch.

Relegation: Darmstadt, Hoffenheim. Neither club really did anything to improve since last season, and I feel like they were both lucky to avoid the relegation zone for most of the season. Hoffenheim loses their best player – Kevin Volland – to Bayer Leverkusen. I’ll give 16^th to Ingolstadt, but I think they win against whatever team it is they need to battle to stay up. FC Nuremburg perhaps?

Surprise Package: Well... I have two. I think Bayer Leverkusen could finish 2^nd. I have them 4^th, but if they stay fit, and maybe not push so hard on the European stage, they could challenge for a title depending on Bayern’s expectations of the league. My other pick is FSV Mainz who made it to European football in the final weeks of the season. They let youth play, and they aren’t afraid of the big boys. I could see them 5^th by the end.

Favorite Signing: Ousmane Dembele – Borussia Dortmund. I damn near cried when I heard he signed for the Schwarz und Gelb. I knew of his talent when last season, both Pep Guardiola and Luis Enrique (of Bayern Munich and Barcelona lore) watched one of his games for Rennes. Then I watched 10 and fell in love. He had all of Europe at his feet, and decided to sign for this fantastic club. I hope it’s a happy marriage, and I think he becomes the next €100 million player.

Italian Serie A:

Champions: Juventus. So loaded.

Top 4: Anybody. It was an interesting off-season in Italian football. No one really made the signings necessary to chase Juventus (we still have 2 weeks), and some of the good clubs lost guys (i.e. Gonzalo Higuain leaving Napoli for Juventus, Miralem Pjanic leaving Roma for... Juventus). I guess I would say Roma, Inter, and Lazio?

Relegation: Crotone, Empoli, Pescara. Just playing the odds here. Sassuolo and Chievo could be close to it as well.

Surprise Package: Well Inter based on my predictions, but I think it’s because no one else improved enough. They might even finish 2^nd, all things considered. No Champions League football, a couple healthy signings in Ever Banega and Antonio Candreva, and a sturdy defense. Frank De Boer is a nice little manager as well.

Favorite Signing: All of Juventus’ new players. (Pjanic, Higuain, Dani Alves, Marko Pjaca). They had one of the best overhauls in Europe. I don’t think they miss Pogba what so ever, and they should win this league quite easily.

Europe:

Champions League:

Final 8: Real Madrid, Barcelona, Atletico Madrid, Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund, Manchester City, Leicester City, PSG.

            Just for fun, I’m going to assume Juventus gets a dirty draw (Bayern, Real, Barca?) and Leicester gets an Olympiakos or an Ajax. Wouldn’t the story be amazing if they could keep the drive alive? They’d have the entire continent pulling for them.

Champion: Barcelona. Andre Gomes was a sneaky good signing, and I think Samuel Umtiti raises his level to that of a Raphael Varane type player. Barcelona could be very good this year.

Europa League Champion: Sevilla. Might as well keep picking them, since they allow me to continue being right.

Players to Watch:

GK: Joe Hart. This has probably been rather demoralizing for him. Let’s see how he bounces back.

GK: Tim Howard. I’m just kidding, but maybe someone, somewhere watches a Colorado Rapids game this year because of him?

CB: Mats Hummels. I think I understand it, but I still need to see it. Does he raise his game to become the best of this generation?

CB: John Stones. He had been progressing to this point anyway, can he become England and City’s best around?

LB: Luke Shaw. If he can get a full season, he might become one of the best in Europe. In the mold of an Ashley Cole.

CM: Ya Ya Toure: Read Joe Hart’s.

CM: James Rodriguez. He’s one of the best around, why can’t he get a game at Madrid?

RM: Arjen Robben. Such a wasted talent; between the injuries and the poor sportsmanship; he could have been one of the greats. Can we get one more year?

CAM: Mario Götze. This whole situation pretty much speaks for itself.

CM’s: Miralem Pjanic and Sami Khedira. Can they put together a Paul Pogba type season for the black and white stripes?

ST: Diego Costa. I’m putting the over/under amount of cards received at 20.

ST: Gabigol. Who gets the next Brazilian great? (I’m saying Inter, because they can play him).

ST: Breel Embolo. Oh my. Could be the world’s next great ST. How in the heck did FC Schalke sign him up?

ST: Morata. I think he’s better than Karim Benzema, if Madrid is to repeat, can the two of them sync on the pitch?

World’s 11

GK: Manuel Neuer

LB: David Alaba

CB: Mats Hummels

CB: Leonardo Bonucci

RB: Philip Lahm (I’m not kidding, they could be sensational. But Barca still beats them)

AM: Neymar. (I need to put him deep, but you get it).

CM: Toni Kroos.

CM: N’golo Kante (I thought his price was cheap).

AM Anthony Martial

ST: Messi

ST: Robert Lewandowski

My 11

GK: David De Gea

LB: Luke Shaw

CB: Mats Hummels

CB: Chris Smalling

RB: Lukasz Piszczek

CM: Paul Pogba

CM: Ivan Rakitic

CM: Luka Modric

LF: Marcus Rashford

10: Wayne Rooney

RF: Pierre Emmerick Aubameyang

Share your own 11’s or your thoughts on the season! So excited that it’s here!

Preview of a Football Preview

Nate’s 9: Preview of a Football Preview

            I pretty much need either football or soccer in my life. So without further ado, here’s a little something for everyone that feels the same way I do.

Nate’s 9: NFL Teams Challenging for a Ring

#9. Minnesota Vikings. Much to my chagrin, Mike Zimmer is building something nice here in Minnesota. Most of the key pieces are already in place: balanced offense, good pass rush, depth in the secondary. Until the final 30 seconds of their playoff game, I thought their special teams were one of the best in the league (And if Blair bounces back from his miss, they still will be). If Teddy Bridgewater becomes a quarterback they can count on for 30+ TD’s and if Mackensie Alexander locks down that 2^nd CB spot sooner rather than later, they could push for a ring this season.

#8. Oakland Raiders. Laugh. Go ahead, I'll wait. I did too. But after looking over all 32 rosters, and figuring out when teams play whom, etc, the Raiders are pushing upward rather quickly. For the first time since I've been allowed to have a legal alcoholic beverage in the United States, the Raiders could make the playoffs. Bruce Irvin was my favorite free agent signing. Sean Smith was right outside my top 5, and Kelechi Osemele was right outside my top 10. With staples Derek Carr, Amari Cooper and Khalil Mack a crucial part of the team too, I might be the first person to predict this team to win their division. It'll be decided in weeks 14, 15, 16 and 17 (at KC, at SD, Indy, at Den).

#7. Kansas City Chiefs. Probably a more realistic shot at the Super Bowl than Oakland this year, but this team can never stay completely healthy, and they have some must have guys if they are going to push for an NFL title. I disliked their draft so I don't think they'll improve off of their 11-5 season last year, but with a healthy Jamaal Charles, Travis Kelce, Tamba Hali and Marcus Peters, they have the talent to match up against the NFL's best on a week-by-week basis.

#6. Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rodgers probably makes this list by himself. But for the last 5 years, they always seem to wilt at the biggest moments. Why will this year be any different? Well, Jordy is back and I think people now realize how important he is to their roster. Everything else is a mis-match when he is at his sparkling best. Randall Cobb can hide in the slot, Davante Adams can run down the sideline, and Richard Rodgers will be covered by linebackers. They need Eddie Lacy to dominate the strong NFC defenses they'll going to face frequently, and if the young secondary make strides, Aaron could be chasing a second ring.

#5. Seattle Seahawks. When I started this process, I thought that this was kind of low. I mean, they have one of the best defenses in the league, a very confident QB that really took off last year, and a receiving core that's turning into a weapon. They had to reload on both lines and at the running back position, and it appears that they've done enough to do so. Plus if we take off our hater glasses, they have one of the best coaches in the league in Pete Carroll. K.J. Wright and Bobby Wagner are two of the league's best LB's, and I think that alone is enough to make the playoffs possibly go through the Northwest again. I think we will know everything when they take a trip on a Sunday night to play Tom Brady up in Foxboro.

#4. Carolina Panthers. Did the window shut on this franchise when Von sacked Cam? No, I don't think so. I will say that the most surprising move of the off-season was when they let big, bad Josh Norman leave for free to the Washington Redskins, but upon further review, I think they got it right. You're going to have to pay Luke. You're going to have to continue paying Cam. You're going to have to pay Star. That's what happens when a team goes 15-1. Chances are it means they are good, and decisions are going to have to be made. It goes without saying that a Super Bowl appearance without a probowl CB means this window stays open for awhile.

#3. Arizona Cardinals. This is probably my favorite roster on this list, but whoo! This is a nasty schedule that sees 5 games against teams that made this list. They have a couple of gaping holes that are going to be filled by... players with questionable characteristics to say the least (Robert Nkemdiche, anyone?) I like the pairing of Calais Campbell and Chandler Jones on the edges, and their hybrid 3-3-5 defense is exciting to watch and tough to beat, when everyone is healthy and on the field. Their offense has just enough depth around to make keying in on any one aspect very difficult to do, and leaves your own defense exposed if you over commit. David Johnson appears to be the real deal in every way (run, pass, block). Carson Palmer still has a little left. Their receiving core is four deep. If 2nd round draft pick Brandon Williams can do anything close to what Patrick Peterson does every week, this really could be our Super Bowl Champion.

#2. New England Patriots. I don't think they're going to be 0-4 when the great "Messiah" comes back from being wrongly condemned by the fans, media, and rest of the NFL. #Sarcasm. They cheated, they got caught, and they'll get on with it. I honestly think they go 3-1, unless JJ Watt and Jadeveon Clowney rattle Jimmy Garappolo a little bit. And that's to my point, because I think Garappolo is a Tony Romo in waiting. Not to say that he'll be the best around, but he can make a lot of throws, has a ton of confidence, and won't screw things up because he'll know how good the players around him are. Then when Tom comes back they have Cleveland. So the ship gets fixed (if it was ever broken), they go on a run, and ride the most ridiculous TE pair I've ever seen of Rob Gronkowski and Martellus Bennett to the AFC Championship game. Keep the balls full of air, okay Tom?

#1. Pittsburgh Steelers. I think. I keep looking at New England thinking holy... But this Steelers squad is no joke, they get the NFC East (4-0?), the AFC East (3-1?) and 2 games against the Cleveland Browns (2-0). That's 9 wins already. All jokes aside, they are blessed all the way around the field as long as the players stop smoking weed, and the kickers stop tearing their ACL's. Ben has really become one of the best quarterbacks in the game, and he makes weapons out of all his receivers (From Plaxico to Hines, Wallace to Sanders and now the Beast). You all know how I feel about AB and if you don't - ask Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb (The two players I would give away, so Aaron Rodgers could throw to one Antonio Brown). Coupled with a bunch of LB's with a lot to prove and a young, but optimistic secondary, this team is starting to take on the identity of their coach once again. I think that's scary enough to win the damn thing.

9 Exciting Players

#9. Andrew Luck. Maybe the Colts will actually protect the NFL's biggest asset as we get near his prime years. With time, the man can do it all.

#8. Todd Gurley. In 2004, I fell in love with Adrian Peterson. Here comes the new answer to the same old question.

#7. JJ Watt. Always seems to be in the opponent's backfield. And I don't really get excited about line play.

#6. DeAndre Hopkins. Catches everything. Seriously, everything.

#5. Dez Bryant. When healthy, he is exciting. For a number of reasons. 

#4. Patrick Peterson. So dominant, it's crazy. I saw him make Calvin Johnson swear once.

#3. Adrian Peterson. He's been on the wrong team for almost 10 years now, but I just can't get enough. I've never seen another athlete use violence so successfully.

#2. Cam Newton. Really moved into that next level of QB. If he can raise his completion levels to the top group of quarterbacks, he could have a legendary season.

#1. Russell Wilson. I can't stand him, or his dang team. But I can't not watch him either. Simply incredible.

9 Teams that could make the NCAA Playoffs

#9. North Dakota State. You think I'm kidding. I wouldn't put it past them. (Michigan State probably gets the play here, really, but that schedule!)

#8. Ole Miss. I was big on them last year, but they graduated some studs. They kept my 2nd favorite QB in the game around though, and Chad Kelly could be enough to get through the treacherous SEC West. 

#7. LSU. They have a beautiful, and I mean beautiful roster of talent. Except for the QB. Brandon Harris is one of my least favorites around, but with Leonard Fournette, Derrius Guice, and Malachi Dupre, it might not even matter.

#6. Notre Dame. They lost a ton of starters off of a really good team, but Brian Kelly has been a sensational recruiter as of late. I'd almost put him on par with the Les Miles and Nick Saban duopoly of the SEC. It really comes down to which QB he picks, and how well that player leads the team. Signs point to Deshone Kizer, but I'd put my money on Malik Zaire by the end of the season.

#5. Ohio State. We laugh. What team could possibly lose 16 starters, led by the likes of Ezekiel Elliott, Michael Thomas, Joey Bosa and Braxton Miller and still be in consideration of a National Championship. This team. Mike Weber will be Maurice Clarett reincarnated (hopefully without the guns and stuff). Noah Brown might be better than Michael Thomas. Nick Bosa is Joey Bosa's little brother (I think that says it all - Nation's #1 overall recruit). Gareon Conley could be the best CB in the country by the end of the year. I'm sure Urban Meyer believes that things will be just fine.

#4. Alabama. They're usually always either #1 or #2 with me. The only reason, and I mean the ONLY reason that they start at 4 this year, is because of "who is Cooper Bateman"? If their new QB can answer that question by say the 17th of September when they have to go over to Oxford, Mississippi and play the Rebels, then I think they go back to their rightful position near/at the top. If we're still left wondering, and if a brand new group of running backs that don't have the power and speed of Derrick Henry and Kenyon Drake start to crumble, they could crash out of this entire list completely. Calvin Ridley is my favorite player in the country, but even he will have a tough time going on the road to Ole Miss, Tennessee, and LSU and coming out with 3 wins.

#3. Michigan. What's sad is they might be here for awhile. These aren't even Jim Harbaugh's players!!! He returns 14 starters, some of who are very good, and brings in a National Top 5 recruiting class as well to boot. They have 2 of the nation's best defensive players in Jabrill Peppers and Jourdan Lewis, and either one could be a top 15 pick in next year's NFL draft. Harbaugh made magic with Jake Rudock at QB, and got him all the way up to the NFL. They brought in a good transfer in John O'Korn, but Michigan's path to the NCAA Playoff is laid out pretty simply. Win in East Lansing and Columbus, plus the Big Ten Championship game, and they'll probably have the #1 seed going into the CFP matches.

#2. Florida State. I'm having this sense of Deja vu... Freshman QB, star-studded roster, game against Clemson to determine fate... Ah, yes Jameis Winston winning his National Championship back in 2013. And here we are. If Malik Henry (who is amazing) can take over the QB position from Deondre Francois and make it his, and if Dalvin Cook gears up towards winning a Heisman, then the only think that should be stopping Florida State from doing this all over again is...

#1. Clemson. October 29th, 2016, a battle will be forged in a beautiful southern city where two of the greatest teams in the land, led by two of college football's best players went head to head to determine which one of them will be winning a National Championship. Here's the kicker. We all know Deshaun Watson and how he'll be next year's #1 pick. We all know WR Artavis Scott and that he'll probably go in the first round as well. What we don't know is that Florida State and Clemson don't have any other games in which they won't be favored, and so we could very well see two ACC teams (even with 1 sitting out the ACC Championship) getting together again next Jan 9th, 2017 and play with two fully loaded rosters to do battle in a beautiful southern city. 

Hot Celebs '16

Nate’s 9: Best Looking Celebrities

            For reasons that I believe many will understand, this is always one of my favorite blogs to write. It’s evolved quite a bit over the years; from being a basic 20, to that audacious Hot 101, and into its current feature, as a Nate’s 9. I think most people are repeat readers now, which is fantastic and thank you very much, but I will share the terms with those that haven’t become familiar with this blog before we get started.

            Very simple. 3 rules. 1^st rule: Look good. 2^nd rule: Be Relevant. 3^rd rule. 18-40. (Although a Mr. Moore continues to defy the odds of good looks, so I break the rules periodically for him.) If you fit into 2 of the 3 categories, you still miss out (Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, etc). The blog is split into 3 parts: what I believe to be America’s favorite 9 (those already picked not included), my favorite 9, and something small and meaningless for the ladies (them boys).

            Lots of hard work and extensive research go into this product, and needless to say, I can’t do it alone. I would like to thank those people that work behind the scenes, offering suggestions, checking for clerical errors (like age), and overall adding to the enthusiasm of the project. Your help is not lost on me.

            Finally, a shout out to the missus. While I do take this work very seriously, and leave no stone left unturned, at the end of the day, there’s no one else I’d rather spend my life with, and your support and love is something that I cherish on a daily basis. Thank you, wife!

            So without further ado, let’s get introduced to some of the most beautiful people in the world!

2016’s Choices:

Honorable Mentions: Jessica Alba, Mila Kunis and Emma Roberts. Two ladies that lasted a decade in consideration (and a former America winner in Alba), and an up and coming star. Just lost a little bit of relevancy, but a talented trio in any case.

 

#9 – Pia Wurtzbach. I don’t usually pick a Miss Universe to make this list, only because I think it’s unfair. They’ve been groomed for these types of roles for years, and it’s not hard for them to qualify for the 3 rules, when it’s all they’ve ever known. I will make an exception for this woman; she is funny, beautiful, intelligent and well-spoken. She’ll be the girl that moves directly into Forbes’ magazine’s most influential women as soon as her Miss Universe reign is complete.

#8 – Kate Mara. She’s not really for me, but she’s really taken her game to another level. The Esquire photo shoot left people wanting for more, and her appearances in The Martian and Fantastic Four put her in the front of the news pages. Another 12 months as good as these and she could be at the top of her own House of Cards.

#7 – Emilia Clarke. Khalessi. That should be enough.

#6 – Beyonce. Kind of getting close to the end of her powers, but it’s been a great run. Relevance since the early 2000’s. Top of my list back in 2002 (when it wasn’t really a list, but only a conversation among friends), and she’s done a great job considering her relationship and becoming a mother. A true dynastic power in the world of beauty.

#5 - Alexandra Daddario. Probably should’ve made the Nate’s 9, but America loves her more. Really had quite the year, for someone that could be considered a rookie to this list. Percy Jackson films raised her to the higher levels, but San Andreas and the potential of Baywatch could have her gunning for the top. A classic beauty.

#4 - Emily Ratajkowski. I think this is low for her, but America won’t let me take her higher. She’s cute; always snapping photos in this age of photo relevancy, has a bit of talent as well, and looks to be growing into the spokesperson role as well. She’s like a laid-back Chrissy Teigen, which I believe is a compliment. Could challenge Daddario for next year’s title.

#3 - Margot Robbie. Simply stunning. At times I believe she should be on my list, but I don’t want to take her away from America’s vote. At least not yet.

#2 – Hannah Davis. Derek Jeter is just winning at life. I think she’s the most talented player on this list, as she can come away with beauty from multiple disciplines. Sports Illustrated has already proven the swimsuit genre, Victoria Secret and American Eagle from the world of modeling. If she gets into film, America might have a bone to pick with the Yankees #2.

#1 – Taylor Swift. This is hard for me, because I want to keep knocking her down. She’s just a country star. Then she diversifies into pop music. She’s too skinny. Gains hips like 12 months later. Just a cute little blonde, with cute little lyrics. Evolves to pull off multiple looks, hairstyles while also writing music that came straight from the diary. (It’s hard to share the most intimate details of one’s life, and she does it without fear and shame). I finally think I have it when I criticized her for being “made from the cultural machine”, and then Kanye does a Kanye thing, and makes her look even more impressive. My apology is in this ranking.

Nate’s 9

Honorable Mentions: Fun story these. Jasmine Sanders and Lauren Hanley were relative unknowns when I started the process for this year’s list, and then Chris Brown and Johnny Manziel happened. Sanders is the girl Brown snagged for awhile after Rihanna got knocked around, and Hanley is the girl who could keep up with Johnny’s partying (although maybe not anymore). Treats, the both of them.

#9 – Zendaya Coleman. I still remember watching DWTS for the first time, when my eye was turned. She was gorgeous. She could dance. She was confident. Alas, she was also only 17 (A few co-workers enjoyed mentioning that, when I told them about this new beauty). I resigned her to the minor leagues, but always assuming it would just be a matter of time (and success) before she got reconsidered. Here we are, my Rookie of the Year. I run into her from time to time on the Disney channel when my boys are flipping through, and I’m very familiar with the song that she put together with Chris Brown (Please tell me how this guy continues to do it!) that got Zendaya into the mainstream. Lots of time left for Ms. Coleman to chase the top of this list.

#8 – Victoria Justice. I just want to give a small shout-out to Disney and Nickelodeon for generating about 30% of the options during the preliminary rounds of this list. They sure do know what sells, and they understand that it starts earlier than it probably should. I think the reason that these ladies (Justice included) do so well in the eyes of the public is that while they might not be as pretty as the SI Models or Victoria Secret Angels that usually adorn this list, they have a sense of everyday about them that we all can relate to. I don’t think Justice ever gets to the level of wearing an “Angel’s wings”, but she’s certainly as beautiful and successful as those that do.

#7 – Erin Heatherton. Speaking of angels... There are probably more beautiful ones. There are probably a few that resonate with the public a little better. There are those that are well-spoken, and do public events, and get their own underwear named after them. But give me Heatherton over them any day. She listens to rap music, appears in great television programming such as “The League”, and is experienced in all genres of modeling. I also want to mention the Jewish heritage, but I think this is a place where I don’t make any jokes. Let’s just leave it at my favorite angel.

#6 – Emma Watson. Always hanging around. She’s like the St. Louis Cardinals of hot celebrities. You’re not sure how they continue to do well; you’re not sure why everyone likes them as their second favorite team. They don’t do anything flashy, they’re not over-the-top exciting, and they’re not major news players. But imagining a playoffs (or in this case: 9) without them is unfathomable, and you just couldn’t stand it otherwise. You’re just comforted in knowing that they’re always going to be there.

#5 – Keira Knightley. The lowest I’ve had her since the inaugural list back in 2003. No fault to Keira, she’s a mom now. I’m also a dad, so I can relate (Usually, I had these beauties done by the end of May). If you’re truly and deeply committed to raising your children, then you just don’t have the time you did in the life before them. She cranked out movies like Santa’s little workshop cranks out gifts, and she rocked some Chanel advertising and just really put herself out there. She said she desired a more private lifestyle since her family began, and it’s what she’s done. Another delightful little trait among many and that’s why she’ll always be relevant to my expectations.

#4 – Scarlett Johansson. From the very first time I saw Lost in Translation, I knew there was something special here. Even beyond the curves that we’re all familiar with, I believe that stardom was always something that Scar Jo was destined for. Even in years of relative obscurity, she’s still mentioned by many as one of the best looking girls around. Time has done nothing to harm her beauty, and we all might agree it’s even made her more so.  

#3 – Ariana Grande. I had a feeling that once I realized the talents of Ari, she was destined to reach the top of this list. She’s got the voice of a Whitney, the musical motivation that Michael Jackson was blessed with, and the beauty of a Jennifer Lopez. She’s hilarious on social media, doesn’t take herself too seriously, and knows what the pulse is on what America (maybe even the world) needs. Her appearance on SNL last season was my favorite of the year; Chloe will never be beat. There’s a really talented generation of people coming through, so the top spot will be daunting, but if she can do Christina Aguilera singing “The Wheels on the Bus”, she can play with the big girls.

#2 – Kate Upton. Breaks my heart, really. It’s kind of like going 73-9, crushing enemies out of the way like Knightley and Johansson, and then holding onto the top spot just long enough for a former Nate’s 9 rival to take it away. Wait, that’s been done before? She’s still the Steph Curry in the world of modeling for me, and I see no reason why things can’t be restored next year, but this year, the new #1 had a campaign for the ages. Hottest #2 ever, though.

#1 – Selena Gomez. I won’t be so bold as to say I saw this day coming from the TV Studio of Barney and Friends, but Selena has always been a threat, and this year it’s well deserved. The album was top notch, her life choices were smart and rewarding (essentially no Beebs), and that transition from youth to adult star was as seamless as any that I’ve ever seen. No one mentions the Disney anymore, but she’s kept it cleaner than her rivals, and it’s that class that I believe catapults her into my top spot for the first time and likely long reign in this position.

Ladies Dreams:

#9 – Mats Hummels. My favorite Dortmund player leaves for Bayern again. Munich just got a little prettier this time around.

#8 – Chris Pine. I always use to think it was Tom Hardy between these rivals. Guess I was wrong.

 

#7 – Enrique Iglesias. It’s ridiculous. Has anyone ever aged better?  

#6 – Shemar Moore. He’s never not made it.  

#5 – Dave Franco. Rookie of the Year. I think he breaks out in Hollywood too. 

#4 – Zac Efron. The other half. It’s too bad Adam Devine isn’t good looking and it could be a friendly trio for you all.

#3 – Chris Hemsworth. Those arms are good enough to make this list every year.

#2 – Cristiano Ronaldo. While my #1 fell out of the list completely, this guy just keeps on chucking off shirts and staying relevant. Can’t be mad at him.

#1 – Liam Hemsworth. Correcting another wrong. Took him off the list last year, but this kid has some chops. I think I was mad about Miley, but now it’s nothing but respect.