Dream Jobs (For Myself)

Nate’s 9: Top Dream Jobs

I think everyone would presume that all nine jobs would somehow correlate with the wide world of sports. Not so, I say! Only eight of the following nine have something to do with the world’s greatest leisure. I claim to be a little diverse.

Honorable Mention: After looking up the top 500 careers available to college graduates, I came to the conclusion that there is a ton of work that could be enjoyable doing (and making that cheddar). A big sorry to the following careers that couldn’t quite get into single digits: International Flight Pilot, Video Game Creator, Undercover FBI Agent, Disney Staffer, Malone’s Server, Tour Guide to Westminster Abbey (not just any tour guide), Screenplay Writer, Youth Pastor, and Portfolio Manager (for the rich, naturally).

#9. Professional Athlete. While it’s one of the most difficult careers to get into, and once you’re in, the length of time playing is extremely short, but I do believe that playing sports is the way to go. If you’re one of the fortunate that can make it to the top, a contract can set you up for a very long time. The travel would also be fun, and challenging yourself against the best would be rewarding and self-fulfilling. Also, most athletes look like Greek Gods which is pleasing in and of itself.  The only downside as far as I’m concerned are all the salads, fish, oxygen tanks, cold baths and protein shakes that are required of top athletes to stay in the best playing shape. I need my red meat and warm blankets.

#8. Author. Probably the most realistic of all my top dream jobs. What do I actually have now that my children are all signed up in school? Time. Not enough to write true novels, but I could improve on that father memoir that I have been working on, and I enjoy dabbling in a little bit of fiction too. I’m too much of a self-critic to really take this position seriously, but I think if I had the right financial backing, plus more of this free time that I’m still getting used to, I could enjoy this life as an author.

#7. Freelance Photographer. I looked up the average income of someone that does freelance and it said $23,000. So clearly this isn’t a dream for someone that wants to be rich. Or even comfortable. However, I do think it is one of the most rewarding jobs out there as you are essentially creating memories for families, school children, friends, wedding parties, etc. I’ve always enjoyed taking photography classes in school, minus the dark room criteria of course, and I enjoy seeking out beautiful landmarks and other nature attractions. I also deal with controlled chaos on almost a daily basis, so dealing with other people’s children would not be that big of a deal.

#6. Music Writer. When I was a teenager, I thought I could write a song. Then Blue-Dah-Bah-Dee-Dah-Bah-Die came out and I gave up all hope of making it in the music industry. I don’t understand how that song made millions, nor do I think I want to. I enjoy the complexity of music, and being able to match lyrics to a wonderful sound. I’m not sure that’s what the industry is all about anymore, but if music decides to take a left turn during the next generation of sound, I would love to write and be a part of the next Woodstock/British Invasion/Disco Fever/Harlem World production.

#5. Informant. I would love to give private information out for paychecks/reduction of evil doings a la Red Reddington of the Blacklist fame. While I know that the show exaggerates the on goings of what really happens in international espionage, it sure would be fun to get caught up in the world’s underground affairs of military warfare, government plotting, and the nine. I think I could do it too, as most would consider my positive personality to orchestrate trust in all of my relationships. Then, boom, backstabbed!

#4. Sports Scout. Probably the job that plays to my strengths the most. I love sports, I love discovering the mental traits that determines whether one person can become a star where as the other person fails, and I enjoy meeting families and promoting the ideals that I love, etc...  If it didn’t seem so ridiculous, I could draw up a chart that would show the strengths and weaknesses of each one of the soccer players I currently coach. I can tell you where I would put them if their skills translated to that of an 11v11 soccer structure. I also think I have a keen sense in the world of American football as well, but if I were to make it into this dream field, I think soccer would have to be my cake. And I’m going to eat it too.

#3. Movie Critic. As a child, I probably saw about fifteen films from the ages of 5-12. Even beyond that I likely only saw another thirty until I graduated from high school. Between sports, video games, hanging with friends and causing trouble, I just never had the time to watch movies, and my family wasn’t the type of family to go to the movies together and enjoy a film. The first time I remember going to a movie with my mother was when we saw “Mo Money” with the Wayans brothers and I was a 12 year old watching an R rated movie (whoops, Mom). I thought that they were the funniest comedians on In Living Color (They were the funniest comedians on In Living Color, but it’s closer than I had previously thought), and it would translate into a good movie. And that’s when I became a movie critic. Needless to say, Sara and I have probably watched 300+ movies during our time together, and now I’ve had the chance to rate all the great classics as well as all the TNT crap they show on the weekends.

#2. CEO of Amazon. Essentially, the boss (Jeffrey Bezos) of what I believe is the best run company in the United States. They have always stayed fresh; they increase their revenue annually, and have a happy and motivated staff (Reuters). I would just step in and pretty much ruin everything... or... or, come up with some new and innovative ideas that would keep the company ahead of the market and upward onward towards global domination. I’ll take the chance to go either way. Plus, at last checking, this position pays $1,681,840 per year.

#1. Athletic Director. Pretty easy. I would love to oversee the entire sports institution at a large university. Not that I’m saying the job is easy, on the contrary, I think it would be one of the toughest jobs on this list. I only mean that it’s one of the few jobs available in which I believe that I would whistle on my way to work every morning. Hell, I wouldn’t even need to leave the office. I would love to decide what sports get how much cash, and what sponsors would have their name in what aptly named sports venues with games that are shown on NCAA based television networks...(how ridiculous that money influences everything, but the college athlete makes how much money?). I’m not much for a power struggle which is where a lot of athletic directors and coaches get into trouble. (You can look up the examples, but they are frequent and well-known). It’s one of the reasons why I think the University of Wisconsin is so successful (Barry Alvarez). He’s a pretty low key guy, who understands what types of personalities are needed in the Midwest. He also understands which coaches can work with him in harmony and generate a constructive staff so that even when the head coach gets the itch to go elsewhere, the Wisconsin machine continues to hum. He has for all intents and purposes, had the perfect career. He took a horrible program to the Rose Bowl in 4 seasons. He made back to back Rose Bowls in years nine and ten. Two losing seasons in thirteen years. Moved up to A.D. and oversaw the Badgers resurgence and two final four appearances in 2014 and 2015 in men’s basketball. He helped lead the NCAA to get rid of the horribus annus Bowl Championship Series (BCS), and now sits on the 13 person playoff committee. (Which. Was. Amazing!) So if I can do all this for the University of Minnesota, not only will I have no professional regrets, but I could also bring pride to a program that hasn’t had any since before they kicked me out for my robust 1.6 GPA way back in my youth (1997 Final Four... oh wait). It’s time to get to work.