Poems From the Past

Nate’s 9: Journal Pieces (Before blogs existed)

            So I’m rolling through my old notebook and realize, “Hey, this guy’s not such a bad writer. While I don’t think there are enough interesting logs to share with the viewing public in an actual blog, here are two of my personal favorites (one, written in 2003, the other in 2005). 2003 goes first.

F Losing

Stay away from me you curse,

You dark cloud; an unknown foreigner in my country.

I don’t want to know you, why do you follow me like a shadow, a silent assassin.

You’re ready to take my life away.

You smell like rotten fish, no, worse, there is no description so low.

What are you here for?

Please find another home, make it a permanent residence; A place you are welcome.

I see you and hear you, but for others, you have no sight. You have no sound.

You are ugly.

You shriek like a witch; one from the west.

You cause me to run, away from myself.

I hate myself when you’re around, yes hate!

I become your disease, I am who you are.

And who are you?

What do you do?

You change my demeanor; therefore you control me.

You get inside me.

You laugh at me and hurt my feelings.

I have self-doubt, a gift given by you.

Why are you sharing with me when I only want you selfish?

You close and lock doors; I simply want them open.

Yet, I acknowledge you; yes I know you are there.

I taste your stink, and feel your skin; repulsive.

I want a way out from here, but now you surround me.

Go! Leave! But here you stay.

So fine! Tell me your name, and just let me be.

Losing, you say. My name is Losing.

Beauty in the Eye of this Beholder

You are my best friend, my favorite companion.

I’m rid of my deepest fears with you closer to me.

No wine tastes better; no flower smells sweeter, than they do with you.

Black and white now has color,

Even silence has never sounded so good.

We hold hands as if we are lovers,

We dance as if we are partners.

You complete me as though I was incomplete before I met you,

Wonderful, becomes my middle name.

I need not come halfway, for you are with me from the start.

I give you all my control; I am led blindly by your scent.

Smiles are a part of my life, sadness no longer exists.

Time does not interrupt us.

It’s as if we have all the time in the world together.

I think it is love, no, wait!

I love you, I really do,

But love almost seems too cheap for you.

I would give you something more, but I’d have to keep giving.

For you have given me everything of you.

Jewels would not do you justice, or dollar signs of any amount.

I would just like to ask, what have I done to deserve you?

I work ever harder to keep you in my life,

I would sacrifice much, just to be your brother.

I don’t ask you to love me back, only to stay in my life forever.

For WINNING keeps my soul alive

You are Beauty in the Eye of this Beholder.