Nate’s 9: Favorite 2015 Moments with the Kids
While working on two other blogs, I kept going back to how much I enjoyed watching my kids make drastic changes over the last 12 months. We had one child start kindergarten this year, the other two started pre-school... all three of them played organized soccer for the first time. Aiden learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, and the twins took their first round of swimming lessons. All in all it was a pretty fun year, and I’m looking forward to the excitement that 2016 will bring.
#9 – The boys graduated from the toddler section to the big kids play area at the Maple Grove Maze. This was great news for all of us, as sometimes Aiden wasn’t able to find a friend to play with inside of the big maze, and the boys had really outgrown the toddler area. There was a slide that was probably about ¼ of the size of the slide in our back yard, and a couple of other small things to climb on. They’ve both already ridden multiple roller coasters and other entertaining rides at Valleyfair; the only thing holding them back was not being able to climb up the stairs to get into the maze. As a dad it was much easier to watch one area of the playground then it was two, and I could only smile as I would see Aiden, then Lucas, and finally Logan as they ran past me after sliding down the 2 story slide to go back up again.
#8 – Logan developed a work rate. This is something that I had always had for sports as a kid; nothing against my father’s character, but most of the time I had to throw the football to myself. I promised never to let that happen to my own children, and I had hoped during their births that I could be a father that would always be there to spark their interest in sports. Imagine my surprise when I was blessed with a child that literally could play soccer in the driveway from the moment he wakes up until after the sun went down. “One more, dad” was one of my favorite statements of the year. While the other two are much more talented, nobody enjoys it more than Logan.
#7 – Aiden finished the alphabet in preschool. Aiden has always been a champion with numbers, especially when he realized he was behind a certain friend or two. He was proud of himself when he first learned to count to 20, but got humbled when the neighbor kids were getting up to 40. (Now he can go on forever, but he usually stops somewhere in the 200’s.) The tough part for him was always the letters, and so it’s what we spent the most time working on. For the longest time he did fine, he would mix up his M’s and W’s and his B’s and D’s. Then a homework assignment came home in which he was supposed to cut up all the letters of the alphabet and then Sara and I would have to hide them all around the house. He loves a good mental challenge and I think the hide-and-seek game really spurred him on towards learning all the letters. He hasn’t looked back.
#6 – Lucas slides on his knees. For anyone that knows this child intimately (which actually isn’t that many), they know that he loves sports almost as much as dad. He just enjoys them in a different way. He doesn’t care about the intellectual side nor is he interested in practicing to get better. He just wants to play. So this fall, we signed up the twins for the first time and we weren’t disappointed. Lucas is very intuitive; while watching the professionals play, he understands what’s going on. And earlier this year, one of his favorite players scored 5 goals in a game (actually in about 15 minutes). One of the first goals that Lucas scored this fall, he ran all the way back to the kick-off circle, and slid down on his knees, ala Robert Lewandowski style. It was a proud moment for me, because while Lucas isn’t ready for investment, he sure does know how to enjoy himself.
#5 – Swimming Lessons for all. This was Aiden’s third year in swimming lessons, and while he’s getting a little better lesson by lesson, he still hasn’t put it all together (I don’t think he’s going to be an Olympic swimmer is what I’m saying). In fact, this year he kind of regressed because we put him with a group of kids that actually take swimming more seriously than just goofing off and jumping in the shallow end. It messed with him psychologically a little bit, and the second swim class was a parent’s nightmare. He cried immediately upon entering the pool, wouldn’t listen to his instructor, then came out and proceeded to throw a temper-tantrum suggestive of a type that maybe a 2 year old would throw. We challenged him the best we could (take toys away, cuddle time, etc, but nothing seemed to work, so finally we pulled him out of the pool and I sat with him in the car the final 20 minutes. The boys on the other hand were splashing, waving to us, in general just having a really good time. I learned a lot that day as a parent. And we worked ourselves through that situation.
Update: Aiden will have to retake the course, but from the next week on, progressed really well over the course of the program. He entered the pool without instruction every single class period thereafter.
#4 – Flourishing with their own interests. While all three children have been relatively different in personality and pursuits, this year they really took that next step towards being one of a kind. Here’s a list of each one of their favorite activities and interests.
Logan: Reading books, wrestling, riding a tricycle, soccer, arts & crafts... Pretty much anything that has to do with do’ing.
Lucas: Puzzles, games, learning about Minnesota, watching sports, playing superheroes... Pretty much anything that has to do with thinking and processing.
Aiden: Role-playing, music (makes CD’s), learning about the why’s of weather, writing, coloring... Pretty much anything that has to do with being creative.
#3 – Aiden getting on the bike. The first time was awful. Aiden only likes to do things that he’s good at, although he eventually does a good job of doing things ahead of the curve. We tried at the beginning of spring (when he had just turned 5), and he tried it about once and gave up without a fight. It wasn’t until he saw the neighbor boy riding with ease that he could muster up the energy to try again. And we were able to succeed rather quickly... in the grass. And he let the bike fall once it ran out of steam. An hour later though, he was cruising through the cul-de-sac, and after the neighbor encouraged him to start without being pushed, he was well on his way to riding his bike with the boys in the neighborhood.
#2 – Aiden’s first day of Kindergarten. I think this was a hard day for Sara, because once the bus had turned the corner, the tears were coming. It was hard for me too, but in a different way. During the first 2 ½ years of his life, we had spent every single Sunday together learning and doing as we pleased. I took him to the zoo, to the Mall of America, to community centers and sporting events. Every single thing that Aiden learned, he was doing it under the influence of his parents and grandparents. So once that bus turned the corner, I was thinking more pragmatically about how my child was going to come back to me in eight hours. Then sixteen hours. Then a school year... It’s been tough. He’s a lot more challenging, but thankfully not to his teachers and peers. Sara and I bare the brunt of most of his aggression and wisdom-seeking. We’ve been told to shut up, we’ve been “hated”, we’ve been under the assumption that he’s going to move out and we’re never going to see him again. We’ve also seen a transformation that couldn’t have been possible without kindergarten. He can read a beginner’s book. He can problem solve. He is great at interacting with other kids his age. I will share with you one of my favorite times so far as a father to this boy, because it’s the exact opposite of how I would’ve responded to all the attention. A few weeks back I was called by the school to come and pick him up because he was running a fever. Once there, we had to stop at his locker and gather his belongings. At the same time, his classroom let out for the media center. And I kid you not, EVERY single girl approached him to say goodbye. Nothing. Not a response, or a smile, or an eyebrow raise. I said, “Aiden, aren’t you going to say goodbye?” “No, dad, I already did in the room.” Cool, calm and collected. Where the hell did he learn that from?
#1 – Lucas and Logan going to preschool. Bar none, the most difficult day on earth for me as a father. I have been a lot of things so far to them. I have been a dad, an authoritative figure, a friend, a listener, a coach and a teacher. This situation called for something different. Lucas has a really hard time with separation and change. He HATES it. We flipped around his car seat at 18 months; he cried the entire car ride because he was facing forward. He meets a neighbor for the first time and turns the other way, or hides behind Sara and me. It’s understandable, I’ve been stay-at-home with them both for most of their life, and my mother and Sara’s mother watches them on other days. Our circle is small to begin with, and Lucas’s is very small. On the first day of school the parents are invited to stay and scavenge the room with the kids, and so there weren’t any issues. But that second day... from the starting checkpoint he wouldn’t leave my side. We washed hands, and searched for the nametag, and put it on the attendance board and he had to hold my hand the entire time. So when we finally got to their shape, he had these humongous tears that were hitting the floor, one right after the next. It was so heartbreaking. I had to keep it together, so I asked Logan if he would look after Lucas for me. Logan said he would and so I started to leave. I turned around one last time and I see Lucas openly crying right into Logan’s shoulder, and Logan had his arm around him. It turned into one of the best moments in my life. My kids were going to be fine.
Update: It continued on like that for about 3 more weeks, and it was extremely hard when they separated the twins to opposite sides of the circle (But I’m glad they did it.) I was told that it only happened for the first few minutes and then he was fine for the rest of the period. And I won’t say that he looks forward to it now (He still has a little bit of anxiety each day that we have preschool), but he’s so proud of himself and has to announce to Sara and I that every single time he goes, he doesn’t cry anymore.
