Nate’s 9: Female
Celebrities
Well, this
year it’s going to be a little ridiculous.
In years past, I have always tempted a Hot 20, or the year that I went
really nuts and drew up a Hot 101. This
year is going to be tough as I’m going to continue the idea of the Nate’s 9
blog. Let’s just say that when I started
this list, there were 108 people on it.
I kind of knew what my top 6 was, but those three final spots could’ve
gone to anybody. (Hell, even Justin Timberlake was rolling through the first
few rounds of cuts).
I've based
my criteria on many things. First, and
foremost, are they attractive? I really
enjoy the comedy sketches of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but I think that we can
all agree that neither one is making anybody’s hot list. (Except for maybe Seth Meyers’ and Alec
Baldwin’s). These lists wouldn't be
nearly as fun if we couldn't base it off of our own opinions and
preferences. Its one thing to do it
based on what Hollywood expects,
it’s another to actually have opinions of our own (Michelle Pfeiffer and Nicole
Kidman are top 20). Second, they have to bit relevant to the cause. In 2003, when I first started this, I had
Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera and Heidi Klum all on the list. While they haven’t all entirely disappeared,
their chances of appearing on the list just based off of their current
opportunities have diminished since their crusades upon the top 10 a decade
ago. Finally, I would like them to be
age relevant to the times. It doesn’t do
me any good to put Cindy Crawford on the list this year. While she is still very attractive and
successful, her time has probably come and gone.
In fairness, I also tend to shy away from the overnight teen successes
as well, and for all the same reasons.
If they are truly beautiful, successful and relevant, they can maintain
it in the years to come and get a shot at the list. I.e. Zendaya Coleman.
Finally, as
I always do a shout-out to the wife.
Thank you for your support and your securities with yourself for knowing
that this is all just in good fun. I
encourage you to be my yang and attempt a hot 9 celebrity list that the ladies
can enjoy! As long, of course, as David
Beckham and Cristiano are allowed to decorate the list.
I – A quick recognition of the three that just missed the 9
spot: Carrie Underwood, Nina Dobrev, and Yvonne Strahovski. I think with time both Dobrev and Strahovski
will threaten the list. I didn’t even
know who Strahovski was until I began this year’s list and I was only vaguely
familiar with Dobrev through magazine cover publications. They both have the talent and beauty to
continue on an upward assault towards the top.
Ms. Underwood has been on the list for many years, and I must say the
only reason she slipped off this year is because of the Winter Olympic
Games.
#9 – Anna Kendrick.
She makes me laugh. On top of
that, she’s a pretty talented singer, actress and judge of talent. Most of you probably know her from the
Twilight series and it’s okay if you don’t want to admit that you do. I know her from “Pitch Perfect” and SYTYCD as
a guest judge and I’m okay with letting everyone know that. In any case, not my typical type (a little on
the smallish side), but still good enough to make it this high on the list.
#8 – Silje Norendal.
Exactly. I had no clue who that
was prior to the Winter Games in Sochi
this past year. I lucked into the whole
situation really. I had the games on as
background noise while I was folding clothes, and it happened to be the Women’s
slopestyle. She must have just finished
and they were giving an interview and our eyes locked. Okay, maybe that last part was a lie, but to
be honest, I didn’t hear a word of the interview. She’s a total knockout, and Lord only knows
where her star lands if she dominates in South
Korea in 2018.
#7 – Hayden Panettiere.
This poor girl is like the Buffalo Bills of the 1990’s. Forgive me for bringing this up, but we go
all the way back to blitzes and quarterback play from “Remember the
Titans”. She was just a little thing, but you could see the star quality even then. It really broke out for me in “Bring It On –
All or Nothing”. I would have just changed the channel, but when it panned on
Hayden... Nashville has really
given her a chance to shine, and while I don’t think she’ll ever grace the #1
spot on any of my lists, she’s pretty much become a staple in the top 10.
#6 – Hunter Haley King.
As soon as they re-casted Summer on Y&R I was in. King is a killer, and still has all the time
in the world. She really hasn’t ventured
out much from Y&R, but a few weeks as a model on “The Price is Right”
didn’t hurt either. She debuted on my
top 20 last year, and I’ve really become a fan since me and the boys watch
daytime soaps periodically. It started
as a little tribute to my dad (he watched Y&R when we used to stay in PA as
kids with him), and I think I know the reasons why he never quit. And now I have my own Ashley (My dad loved
Eileen Davidson).
#5 – Penelope Cruz. Dear
Javier Bardem, well done. I have always been a huge fan, at least since I saw
the movie “Blow” in the theater. She
portrayed an absolute nutjob in the film, but she was smoking hot while doing
it! I think it correlates to the fact
that I am a sucker for accents, but among her Latina
look-alikes, I have to admit that she’s a lot more personable than either Eva
Longoria or Eva Mendes. Maybe she starts
to slip away now that she’s leaving the lime light a little bit, but for now I
see no reason for her to not be in the top five.
#4 – Selena Gomez. I
wouldn’t say I have been a fan from the very beginning, and I still think there
is a little bit of questionable decision making coming from her end, but she is
on her way to becoming an absolute superstar.
I will be the first to admit that I think she should probably avoid the
music industry, but her role in “Spring Breakers” as well as an amusing
appearance on David Letterman with which she used to bust on the Biebs a little
bit, and continuing with the fact that she’s got the total package just a few
years after turning 21, I believe that she is another who will still be in this
list for years to come.
#3 – Scarlett Johansson.
So, for the first time in five years, Johansson is no longer #2. It’s not that she has done anything wrong; on
the contrary, I think her acting prowess has improved, and she has done very
well on selections over the past couple of years. She has aged very nicely, and has the
personality to match the beauty. As many
of you may already know, I think the thickness is beauty at its best. Johansson characterizes what I require in the
ultimate attractiveness of any woman.
It’s just too bad that someone else has taken those requirements to
another extreme.
#2 – Keira Knightley.
In 2003, I went and saw “Love Actually”.
My life has never been the same since.
For the last ten years, I have had only one #1 celebrity crush. For all the things that Keira has done in her
career, her biggest accomplishment has probably been defining a part of my pop
culture life. All that know me well,
know that Keira has been #1 for that long.
Our interests are pretty similar (soccer, historical novels, complex
films) and than to smash it with a blonde/brunette combo plus an accent... yes
it was always easy for me. I can even
look beyond the fact that I find nothing sexier than a healthy chest, and Keira
had no chance to ever provide the highest value in that category. But besides that, she hits on all other factors, (Successful, multi-versed in acting &
music, a passion for sport, relevant, and very good looking). It was a great run.
#1 – Kate Upton. The
comprehensive turn-around. From her
debut in Sports Illustrated where I wasn’t very impressed, to the number one
spot in my 11th edition of this list, however modified. When Upton
first hit the scene, I thought she was too tall and awkward. For as much as I
could appreciate her “assets”, I thought that they were her only gift to the
swimsuit world, and there wasn’t much else to go off of. I can concede defeat. She’s surprisingly warm, has an uncanny
ability to play the stereotypical blonde but exude confidence at the same time,
and can laugh at herself (Watch her Youtube video Cat Daddy). That was actually the start of my turn
around. Now completing swimsuit modeling
trips to Antarctica and outer space, she really has
taken modeling to a whole new level.
She’s been on the cover of Sports Illustrated without bearing a
swimsuit, and still knocked it out of the park (See Uptons’ Cover) And of
course, the “Nate Prerequisites”. She’s even got a little bit of love handle
growing around the hip region, and if we can’t appreciate that, then we may as
well not create lists. Kate Upton is simply put, just killing it.
Thank you, readers for your input and judgments on this
list. While I don’t really go for the
stereotypical greatness, I can appreciate the consensus of a more global top
9. This might be what it looks like.
#9 - Sofia Vergara.
Very visible lately.
#8 – Mila Kunis. Some would say the total package.
#7 – Jennifer Aniston.
Still raking into her 40’s.
#6 – Nicole Scherzinger. A thoroughbred.
#5 – Beyonce. Men everywhere wishing they’d put a ring on
it.
#4 – Emily Ratajkowski. The good girl you always wanted.
#3 – Jessica Alba. She’ll have to tell us where the fountain
of youth is.
#2 – Scarlett Johansson. Even the world agrees with me.
#1 – Olivia Wilde. I like it, just not enough. But America
can’t get enough.
And finally, for the ladies out there. I am very comfortable in my skin, and totally
understand when you all swoon for the big arms, and rock solid abs and all that
other crap. In any case, a little fun
for all of the ladies.
#9 – Johnny Depp.
Only because of Pirates.
#8 – David Beckham.
Way better looking than Victoria .
#7 – Chris Hemsworth. I know nothing about 50 shades, but come on! Pick him!
#6 – George Clooney. Any old man that can pull Stacy
Keibler...
#5 – Reggie Bush.
Kardashian had no where to go but down.
#4 – James Scott. The
male version of Keira Knightley, what with his accent and all.
#3 – Adrian Mutu. I
would do a line of coke, just to be near him.
#2 – Justin Timberlake. I imagine what the ladies might think is the total package. Or Fallon.
#1 – Cristiano. Just
take the shirt off, bro.
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