Lucas vs Nate

 Nate vs Lucas

Monday, August 24, 2020

11:37 PM

It's strange because while I don't think we are complete opposites, the personalities of myself and Lucas aren't very close. He is a full blown extrovert, an entertainer, who when at his very best, enjoys being around everyone and everything. I, on the other hand, just want to read Game of Thrones books or watch EPL in a room by myself and not have to say a word to anyone at anytime. But when we are together, it's magical. Since he's been 2 years old, he's always held amazing eye contact. And so we have these deep, intellectual conversations and I feel like I learn as much from him as I hope he's learned from me. We talk chess, Marvel, sports tactics, demographics! I remember our first debate when he was probably like 27 months old and I wanted him to experience a shower. He said, "No. Bath." I told him, no we are going to take a shower and I'll hold him when the water runs. Again, "No! Bath!". But Lucas, the shower is great, efficient, and fun. "Not clean. Bath." Oh, I see. We can't clean ourselves in showers, only baths, because there's no bubbles in showers… Or the time when he was 3, and he still had a little anxiety about going to preschool. So in the mornings, I would get him talking, to take his mind off of the things that were bothering him. So we used to talk about the things I would do while they were in school. Then one day he says something along the lines of: "Dad. I go to school. You go to the bank, then Cub, then go to the coffee place, then get $5 pizza, then get me and Logan, then go home." It was literally everything that I would do while I dropped them off at school, and he was able to apply all those other trips and put them into a one day errand extravaganza. Perceptive kid, this Lucas.

Lucas started puzzles when he was about 18 months old, finishing them when he turned 2, completed the entire Preschool Monkey Lunchbox before he was 2 and a half, and was playing chess right when he turned 4. He loves that challenging stuff. And he doesn't even work hard at it, we were playing Chess the other day and he was watching Netflix while he played me. I beat him, but not before we went about 70 moves. I've been obsessed with this game for 5 years, and he casually takes me to the ropes with barely a thought. 

I try to cater to the needs of those around me, and maybe that's why Lucas and I get along so well. Very rarely does Lucas attempt this… lifestyle… as he usually likes to dictate the action. He does it while playing with Logan, with his friends at school, with the neighbor kids in the backyard, he really just enjoys running the show. When we are together, it runs pretty smoothly. We've started the Marvel movie storyline, and I like that he has researched the order of the films in the way we are supposed to watch them, and we analyze the characters together and how we hope the story will end. (I think Thor: Ragnarok is our next film?) When we do drills, I set up the cones to his needs and wants, and then he explains the process on how we are going to train. But what he doesn't realize is, I'm grooming him to become a leader, so I love taking a backseat. Logan needs me to run all training, and Aiden prefers training on his own. I love the uniqueness of their development though.

I never thought my best friend could be a kid. I am the square peg, to his ever evolving round hole. He really dislikes reading, I recharge with it. He wants hundreds of friends, I hold high esteem over the 3-4 closest friends that I've made. He loves cooking, puzzles, board games, and big moments. All I need is a TV and a sports package and furthering my children's development. 

My final Lucas anecdote. Big-Moment Lucas. Boys 2011 top team played Girls 2010 top team. So essentially 2nd and 3rd grade boys vs 3rd and 4th grade girls. And these girls are good. I mean, a really strong team. Physical, pushing the boys around, chasing them relentlessly. They give Aiden's team tons of problems whenever they scrimmaged. We're playing them, and as the game goes on, the boys get more and more confident. Down at times 3-1 and 5-3, the boys have it back to 5-4 in the final minute, when the boys get a throw in (kick-in, thanks COVID) in the girls half. I get close to Lucas, and tell him, "A big moment buddy, let's make this one your own." He runs up and takes the kick-in, receives the ball back from his teammate, and blasts the ball past the girl in goal, who had absolutely no chance. 5-5! 

Shining star, this guy. Whatever he does, he's going to shine bright!

Logan vs Nate

 This kid… if each one of my children had an emoji to describe them, Logan is a 💓 for sure. He is so sweet… so kind… always thinking of others. His empathy and sensitivity is unlike anything I’ve ever seen in any child ever. I’ll share a few stories with you.

First story I’ve shared with a few of you already, but when Logan was either 3 or 4, we were at our old house in Ramsey. That sucker had a jacuzzi tub that I miss every single day of my life, but there was a time that I was relaxing in it, reading a Sports Illustrated article about Jerry Smith. He was a TE on the Washington ______, and didn’t share with anyone that he was gay. Played his entire career without being able to share that part of him. And then died of AIDS before he could tell his story. Damn near broke my heart. So anyway, I’m in the tub spouting tears and Logan comes in and puts his arms around my neck and says, “Dad, it’s going to be okay. The Packers could win again next time.” They had just lost a heartbreaking playoff against the Arizona Cardinals the day before, and he thought that I was in tears because their season was over. That said, he held me until I was finished crying.

Second story I’ve shared a couple times as well. It’s the first day of preschool ever for the twins and I think they are also 3 at the time. Lucas has a bit of social anxiety, and especially at that age, had a really difficult time being away from his parents. Sara and I had spent time with him at the open house prior to preschool beginning, but I had a feeling it was going to be hard for him when we weren’t there. Sure enough, I’m getting ready to say goodbye, and Lucas is crying these huge alligator tears, but not saying anything. He was trying to be strong. I went over to Logan, and whispered to him, “I need you to look after Lucas. Make sure he’s going to be okay.” I turn around to leave, but before I go, I take one more look back, and I see Logan with his arm around Lucas and he’s saying something in his ear. Lucas ended up thriving in the preschool setting. I don’t think he could’ve done it without Logan. 

I think I’m a huge introvert, and then I see Logan. He has no problem being by himself in his bedroom, in fact he asks for it a lot of the time. One thing I struggled with in Junior high, and for a little while Senior high, was wondering if people liked me. But I wouldn’t take the initiative to make friends. A little bit because I was reserved, and a little bit because I didn’t really know how. I see some of that in Logan, but then I see that it doesn’t really bother him the way it bothered me. I thought there was a lot of value in the amount of friendships one made in those days, as opposed to the quality of friendships that were made. Now I know better, but it’s a hard lesson to learn. Logan already seems to have that figured out. 

My favorite version of Logan is the athletic version. His commitment to getting better at sports is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. There is a video of him on Instagram when he was 4, when I looked all over the house for him, but he couldn’t be found. Then I look out the window to the backyard and there he is just taking shots on goal all by himself. Now, he does that all the time, and is always willing to practice or play sports with his parents/brothers/friends. I also love that he can be pushed beyond levels that people believe that kids can go. I’ll ask him at Loons games what he thinks of the decision making of professionals, and he usually makes really good assessments of what they’re trying to do. He also likes to be challenged in sports intellectually. He enjoys playing defense in basketball against the other team’s best player, in soccer he wants to know what to do in each position and why he should do it, and in tennis he tries to do things that he sees professionals doing on the TV. Like, extremely difficult, challenging shots. The other two are so good in their own right, but never take things to this kind of level. The girl/boy, career, best friend, school that he chooses will be lucky to have him. In a total essence of who he is, he is a quiet effort guy.

His teachers love him, his coaches love him, any adult that ever meets him is aware of how beautiful of a soul that he has. I wish it was the same with kids. I know he does struggle a bit finding that close friend. His brothers pick on him a bit, and because they’re so extraverted and dependent on relationships, he tends to take a backseat when it comes to play dates, talent shows and getting invited for birthday parties. My wish in the future is to see him become a little more engaging, and to embrace toys/sports/interests/friends that really bring out the best in him.